Many times after a romantic relationship, a person will quickly move into a “rebound” relationship. They date this person to fill the hole left by the previous relationship. Feeling sad and lonely, they want to be around someone, anyone really, who makes them happy. These relationships generally do not last long. Many times, the person who was the rebound feels used. The recovering person was never actually interested in them. They did not care about them. Their only purpose was to satisfy themselves. Once that need was met, the rebound was discarded.

This sad situation happens many times because the person is “seeking their own.” However this is not the only time it happens in relationships. Some people might take advantage of the emotional unsteadiness right after a breakup. Sometimes people only befriend others because they can gain something from them. We have probably all experienced a person who really only engages in friendship as a vehicle to advance his own agenda. Another example of this is the person who is nice to a richer person, hoping to get money. Or one who becomes a friend of the boss in order to be on the fast track.

Love does not look at people this way. It does not ask what benefit it can receive from a relationship with another human being. Instead, it asks what it can do to help others. Our goal is to strengthen and support those we know. We want them to succeed, and our actions are for their benefit. Rather than seeking our own, we seek their benefit. This is the very core of love. Jesus exemplifies this in the incarnation. Why did Jesus come to earth? Why did He die on the cross such a painful death? Was it for His benefit? No, it was for ours. He was actively looking to help us. Love follows Christ’s example by looking to help others.